Wednesday, 22 April 2015


Kamu begitu saja terhapus, memudar tanpa usaha yang terlalu keras. 
Kamu begitu saja hilang dari ingatan. 
Seperti kehilanganmu itu hal yang tidak melukai hatinya barang sedikit saja. 
Kamu seperti lipatan kertas yang memang akan dibuang. Tidak mempengaruhi apapun. 
Tidak perlu diusahakan untuk kembali rapi, toh akan dibuang.
Kamu bernafas, kamu melihat, kamu mendengar, kamu tahu, kamu diam.
Ikhlas katanya, rela nantinya.
 Lalu kebohongan yang mana lagi yang mau kamu bilang? Kamu bahagia? Kamu lupa? 
Bohong kamu. 
Ah bukan,  kamu tidak bohong, kamu hanya tidak sadar. 
Malam pekat, malam dingin, kamu terjaga entah untuk apa. 
Tidak menangis, tidak tertawa, tidak berduka, tidak bahagia. Kosong kamu. 
Kenapa? Kamu lelah menjawab. Bosan menjawab. 
Kamu tahu kamu cinta. Tapi yang ada dahaga. 
Kamu tahu kamu luka. Tapi yang ada tawa. 
Sudah pura-puranya. 
Kamu aku.
Aku tahu.

Wednesday, 11 February 2015

Yes, I Remember

This kind of thing is sooooo last year i know, i read someone's notes on his socmed account and now im trying to answer based on what i remember about him. 

Do you remember?

1. Where you and I met?
i met you everywhere. but i remember the first time i saw you, we were grade 11. it was in your class, i was there to accompany my friend collecting money for an event class to class. my friend ever told me about you before and i remembered it was your class so there you are sitting on the corner of the class. i saw you in a glance, it wasnt more than 3 seconds then i left. i was like, "oh."
i remember the very first time we went out before we're actually dating. so it was in the mall and we decided to watch Narnia. you came late for like 15 mins, and i remember i didnt mind, at all. but i got that burst in my nerve to see you, i was too nervo so my face looked like i was so not happy that you're late. i remember what you wore. i remember the look on your face seeing me waiting for you. 
2. How long have you known me?
ive known you for 4,5 years.

3. The last time we saw each other?
almost 4 months ago. too excited to watch hunger games:mockingjay and i thought youve never watched it before, then you said youve had, twice.  and it was like spoiler spoiler everywhereee. but once again, i dont mind, at all. it is always nice to do things with you.

4. Your first impression of me upon meeting/seeing me?
".....oh there you are." nothing too special but i love the way you smile.
5. Am I funny?
yes, indeed. youve made me laugh a lot.
6. What's my favorite music?
there's a time when you fond of edm a lot, until now probably but not that much.

7. Would you call me preppy, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else(what)?
the grumpy one because you look so unhappy when im around
8. Have you ever hugged me?
yes, a lot.

9. If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be?

10. If you and I were stranded on an island, what would I bring?

your smartphone and indomie.

11. Where do you think I will be in 25 years?

so it means youre 45 yrs old. still in jakarta i guess, or any other big city, youre happily married to one fine lady and raise 2 or 3 grown-up kids. and be living a successful life, cause i know youre the most hardworker and you know what you do and you love that. youll be everyone's favorite boss and trustworthy client. youll be an amazing husband and lovely father. cause i know youve been a really good guy ive ever met after my father. and i know youll be wanted and youll be missed.