Other Stories

Hello, hi it's me again back from super long hiatus. No one actually notice but I've been gone from this platform for quite long time that made me feel like I miss writing. Life's been treating me good and bad this year, too many things happened and I wanted to tell you some of 'em.

So, back in the October 2015, there was this guy. A new guy. He and his 'hello' just came unexpectedly, in a random night. My peaceful, casual night. He introduced himself as my friend's close friend. And I was just, okay, I think I knew this guy before. I thought it was just because he's quite often mentioned in my friend's social media so I got over it, he was a total new person.

And months past by after that 'hello', which I never planned to be the nicest 'hello' after a long time. In other random night, my friend told me that he was the guy whom I adore by his singing. And that was when I knew why I feel I knew him before. He wasn't a total new guy. And I think I liked him even long before he noticed I was exist.

Long story short, he captured this tiny heart just like that. He didn't even need to try. He was living in other town, so we didn't see each other many times, It was just he and his pure intentions ensured me to step on the next chapter of my story. All I know was a blank paper, it was all dull before I knew him and he made me write poems again. He sang songs, I wrote lines. We were crazy about each other.

Things went well at that time. It was always a good time whenever he's around. He was my best friend, my happy pills, he made me the happiest person by only his presence. He was also my confession box, I told him things I love, things I never told to anyone. I became the truest version of myself in front of him. The version of me that is not all pretty. And that was the problem, I guess.

As you may guess in the first place, I always tell you a story that already ended.
The good times ticking so fast, I couldn't keep running to reach them. He started to lose interest. Maybe I was too easy to reach, maybe I wasn't enough, maybe he was just out of my league.  He told me he had enough, he wasn't happy anymore. So he said goodbye. Another 'goodbye' that I thought I wouldn't have to hear anymore.

And suddenly all I remember was his warm hands wrapped mine. The thought of not being able to reach his hands hit me hard. The pain was excrutiating, and sadly I feel familiar to that kind of pain.

I never tell anyone about how I truly feel about things that has happened. I never tell anyone about how I feel now. But maybe you know now. I managed myself to live like it wasn't hurt me that much. But it's been 6 months, and I still writing about him while he may be looking for other stories.

HAVEN SPRING SUMMER 2016 DEBUT COLLECTION "NATURE CALLS"

Fleur

Because if you love him, then you would be trying so hard to make the person you love turn into you, do not go in the direction of someone else. Trying so hard that it feels you are almost insane. That sometimes, there are times when you want to run into the arms of someone else.

You're tired of maintaining everything, when it slowly but surely destroyed everything in front of you without you knowing why. And when you go into the arms of someone else, you might not know everything just after and messing around.

But when you fail to keep your love and your love chose to walk away, you will be watching from a far, cursing loudly down in your heart . Upset and anger is in you.

But if your love tell you that he wants someone else, you're just going to nod, silently wipe the tears and tell him how lucky you were to have him once.

Goodnight

You know how it hurts, to be left behind, to be rejected, abandoned and torn inside by the person you need the most. I know you know. You've been there. I know you've been there cos I was there when nobody else was, remember? 

Time passes by. I'm wearing your shoes now. I feel you. The hurts, the tears, that unwanted feelings tear me up, drain my blood, scrape my bones. I know you know. But you left. 

Just tell me how to be like you. Easily forget and fall for anyone else.

Just tell me how it feels. Laughing on my tears. 

Are you happy for not having me around? 

You said no.  But you never ask me to be around. 

Do you still love me? 

You said yes. But how could you let someone you love getting through all the pain by her only self?

I know you're happy for not having me around. I know you stop loving me. And you know how it hurts, to be left behind, to be rejected, abandoned and torn inside by the person you need the most. I know you know.

Goodnight.